Mental state

Its only a manner of time
before noone else can ever
capacitate mty mind...
I try so hard not to blame every
man for his lies
but it has gotten to the point where
its buaried in my mentality..
maybe cause constantly since 2003 my
heart has been through so much brutality..
every time a male comes along that seem as if
he might have my best intrest in mind..
i cant feel him im completely numb i
can't even think to give him a sign
even if i wanted to..see no matter how much i
progress my process always seem slowed..
because the man can do back flips, jumps,throw
money and give great head and still won't be known..
maybe i have grown use to being single and i like
being alone..
but it seems as if i cant escape this mentality
maybe ill never be whole..