evryday is a fight

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Every Day is a fight
I don't want to loose
I'm slipping, I’m falling, I'm loosing again!
“Give in, Give up, feed the compulsion"
NO! NO WAY!
I'm surviving, I'm healing, and I’m finding myself!
"hold me, love me, show me the way"
Every Night there is hope As I lie in my bed,
I feel Rejuvenated with potential
A new day awaits, I have a clean slate
but I always return to the ways I have learned
to reach out in need--and find only food
but my heart is empty and I need your love
Can you love me? Just as I am? I need so much.
All the food in the world won't fill my heart with the love I need.
I am left emptier than before
but I don't feel the emptiness, and I don't feel me
until a disaster strikes
enough.
Now this time I'll heal. I'll heal for my family.
I'll heal for some boy. I will.
But then I am hurt and I always go back
But if you have made it -maybe me too, you beat bulimia-
I want to be you
There is no magic cure
There is a fight
I must never give up
EVEN
if it takes my whole life
will it take my life?
will I have to tell the world? Expose all my shame, tell of my lies?
I am petrified.
But the fear is far worse when I think of their pain -when they hear I'm this way, I think it would be easier for them to hear I had died.
IF I must fight, at least I know others fight too.
Promise you won't give up on me
Hold my hand, tell me what to do!
Bulimia goodbye, tomorrow hello
we're not a dead match--I'm going to win,
the fight won't end with me giving in!