Memoirs of a Cutter

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They say once a cutter, always a cutter
Its a secret that we all share
our own private inside joke
but its not a joke
in fact, its one of the most serious things we do
we are meticulous, our lines and rules are written in our own blood
And we have a deadly accuracy
For some of us, we don't feel the pain
we feel the high, that release that is our drug
We are addicted, and some of us go through the withdrawal
Being absolutely honest, im in the middle of that withdrawal
and i always question whether i can make it
I don't trust myself with sharp objects
and i take deep breaths before i walk into my kitchen
I have an affinity for sharp objects
and i shake when i am near them
But i manage somehow
I guess my will is stronger than my desires
but when i do succeed then what
my scars show bright along my arms
527 times per year for two and a half years
and now i'm done with it
but then what
the memories will not go away
the scars will still be there, even if they fade
my life gets better, i guess i can say
but still as the adage goes
as life goes by, it doesn't give a damn
once a cutter, always a cutter
And that is who i am